I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm at about main and main street
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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