Im at strip club and am horny
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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