Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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