butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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