He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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