my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
No I am not eating basil off your cock
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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