no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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