Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
