She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
