so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize