R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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