my computer doesn't work...
i puked on it last night
Who wears a wallet chain?!
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
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no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
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i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I'm like, not good at living.