I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
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In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
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Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.