Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.