Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Me. At least after what I've been through.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.