Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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