Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Randomize
