____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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