her vagine was all disorganized.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize