just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
