very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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