Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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