I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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