David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
