Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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