I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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