ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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