I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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