If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
