did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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