Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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