Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Randomize
