all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
