I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
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