my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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