I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
