READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
