Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
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Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
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Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
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