I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
