it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
