My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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