pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
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Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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