I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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