It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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