But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
NoShamevember. You game?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Randomize
