I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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