I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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