we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I'm really busy with my period
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