I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
