Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
