You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
