11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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