I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
