she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize