The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize