Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
