fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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