I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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