The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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