ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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