I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I just had sex on a roof
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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