Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
